Trying to Cope

Lately I’ve had this urge to just leave. I’m...

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:05:39 -0500

Lately I’ve had this urge to just leave. I’m anchored to this place by my memories and my relationships. I don’t want to be held into place by these outside factors. I want to escape. I want to move. I want so much but don’t know how to achieve anything. I want to leave and cut all ties. The ties to myself as well as to others. I don’t want to plan for the future anymore. I don’t want a future. I want right now.

If we continue this little journey we are on its time that I...

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 15:02:06 -0500

If we continue this little journey we are on its time that I clear thing up and find out who I am. Here is my room and I believe a persons room is made of what seeps out of a persons identity. Whats escaped from me? I’m random, cluttered, I have so much going on that it’s hard to figure out but if you look close enough you’ll find something out. Most posters up there are from my college and I have so much pride in myself for making it this far in life. There are posters from cancer fund raisers that I’ve participated in. You’ll find my masks which mean so much to me. I want to travel and I want to see everything new and those masks symbolize this. If I looked closely at everything in my room I can learn a lot more.

Waiting

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 11:23:23 -0500

So here I am sitting at fresh waiting. I do this three times a week. I sit out waiting for someone? something? to just be alone for awhile? I honestly don’t know. I will sit here for hours get nothing done and half the time leave with hardly eating anything and somehow when I leave I feel like I accomplished something….I want to know what that is.

You know sleep is a funny thing. I crave it so badly yet when...

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 22:58:00 -0500

You know sleep is a funny thing. I crave it so badly yet when the time comes for me to get my release from the day I can never get the courage to take it. I can do so much more instead of sleeping. I think I hate sleeping because those last few minutes before I finally go are the few moments in the day I can’t help but think. Its the the only time I have unfiltered thought. I’m my most vulnerable at night to my own mind. I’m not afraid of thinking anymore though. I want to fill myself with my own dreams. I’ve journeyed to the point where I want to dream again.

Bucket List

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 22:53:36 -0500

The other RA in my building did a program today. Make a bucket list. Now truly think about this. What do you want to accomplish before you die. Of course my list has those extremes such as sky diving, traveling and over all just doing something but I want so much more.

Bucket List:
Skydive—done
Climb a mountain—-
Bungee jump—-
Para-sail—-
Read anything I can get my hands on—-Work in Progress
Jump off a waterfall—-
Travel—(so far France, England, Ireland, Caribbean Islands, All over the US)
Travel more—
Seriously go out travel-take it all in and leave something behind—-
Write something that lasts book, story, poem really anything—-
Use my experiences and mistakes to help someone avoid making the same ones—-
Never get comfortable where I’m at because I can always make it better—-
Don’t finish my bucket list but add to it everytime I finish one—-

Note: This is a work in Progress and will never be completed but here is a start.

Just a boy by Angus and Julia Stone Just listening to this song...

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 20:59:00 -0500

Just a boy by Angus and Julia Stone

Just listening to this song seems to make sense to me. In my relationships I tend to saw things I shouldn’t and the truth is I’m just a boy. Like everyone else I may get heated and bite my tongue (it happens more often then not) but that’s because I get carried away with my own thoughts and tend to forget about others. Somehow at the same time there will always be that person I fall for and not even just romantically. My friends matter as much as any other person and I can fall for their companionship. My journey will hopefully help me be better with people and to think before I speak. I don’t want to ruin anything else.

Here’s the entire family. I’ll admit I’ve made...

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 14:00:38 -0500

Here’s the entire family. I’ll admit I’ve made mistakes with them but the beautiful part of having a family is that you can’t get rid of them. You’ll always get your second chance with them. My journey started with them and it will always end with my family.

In my unstable state music seems to be one of the few things to...

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 13:08:29 -0500

In my unstable state music seems to be one of the few things to calm me. Get ready for random songs. You can make your own opinion and I won’t force my own on you but this songs just seems to hit home with me on a few things.

This is Tyler my older brother. He was in a fatal car accident...

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 12:03:51 -0500

This is Tyler my older brother. He was in a fatal car accident three years ago. This day all that time ago we took him off life support. I never came to terms with it but I’m starting to. He means more to me then I can every admit. My journey will be the hardest right now and this will be the roughest part. Work in progress.

Nothing can be more true. My Devos family is truly one of the...

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 11:55:55 -0500

Nothing can be more true. My Devos family is truly one of the few things keeping me going. This is not merely a dorm. This is something special to me that I can never forget. Thank you to everyone. On my journey of finding myself you are the first step.

Why?

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 11:34:03 -0500

Why am I starting a tumblr? Am I one of those people who wants their every thought heard and needs validation….no. I’m just another person average to everyone else but endlessly special to myself. This is not for you. This is for me. I want to know myself and if there’s something special enough for me to post or write about then it’s special enough to consider a part of who I am.